Love Me Knot Read online

  “You’re amazing.” She shook her head. “You guys are so under appreciated.”

  “The Coast Guard doesn’t get much glory, and when we do it’s usually the rescue swimmers—like me—but every job there is important. We’re a team and we work our asses off.”

  “I know you do.” She traced a fingered over his chest, just above where his heart was, then pressed a kiss against his shoulder. “I’m sorry about what happened out there today. I wish I could take away your pain.”

  A shudder of emotion swept through him. So potent he had to close his eyes for a moment. “You’ve helped me. More than you can possibly know, Ciara.”

  She cupped his face and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. “Dinner’s ready. Are you hungry?”

  “Yeah. It smells awesome.”

  Guilt slid through him again. She’d welcomed him inside the house, even though he’d been a complete dick by ditching her after their incredible night together. And then she’d let him make love to her again—had even cooked him dinner while he slept.

  And she thought he was amazing?

  Fuck it. From this point on he was forgetting who Ciara’s brother was. What had happened between Lance Daschmoore and Anna was in the past.

  And maybe Ciara’s my future. Christ, maybe Tyson was right and there was something in the water.

  He just needed to take it slow.

  Should he bring up her brother? The past? Damn, did she even know what Lance had done to his sister?

  So many questions arose, but it just didn’t seem like the right time to ask. To have this conversation.

  He pushed a strand of hair back off her face. “How long are you in Wyattville again, darlin’?”

  “I’m booked until Sunday, though I was thinking of leaving tomorrow.”

  Because of him probably. The guilt increased. “Don’t leave.”

  She arched a brow. “Don’t you have to work this week?”

  “Yeah. I do. But I’m off on the weekend, and I’ll be here every night after work until I have to leave in the morning. That is if it’s okay with you.”

  Ciara stared at him for a moment and he could see it in her eyes. The hesitation. The silent plea not to hurt her again.

  I won’t, darlin’, I promise you I’m done being an asshole.

  He didn’t say the words aloud, but hoped he conveyed them well enough in his gaze.

  Finally she nodded and looked down. “I’d like that.”

  Relief surged through him and he couldn’t stop the answering smile. “Good. Now why don’t you let me try whatever the hell smells so awesome in the kitchen.”

  The next few days passed in a blur for Ciara. True to his word, Ryan spent every moment that he wasn’t at work with her.

  And once Friday night hit he never left her place. They were inseparable, making love when they weren’t enjoying the outdoors and summer sunshine. They talked about everything and anything. She confided why she’d come to Wyattville, and how disastrous the meeting had been with her brother.

  It was the epitome of a summer romance and her heart ached at the idea of leaving tomorrow.

  As they sat on the beach, fish and chips in their lap, she cast a sideways glance at him.

  “I don’t want to leave,” she confessed.

  Some of the light in Ryan’s face dimmed. “I understand fully. Wyattville suck you in?”

  She didn’t look away from him. “You know it’s not just Wyattville.”

  Despite how close they’d been over the past few days, they’d somehow managed to not talk about the future. About what happened between them after Sunday. Did anything happen?

  Or was this exactly what it seemed...a vacation fling.

  But Ryan didn’t look cornered at her statement, if anything he looked pensive as he dug his bare toes into the sand.

  “Do you like Idaho?”

  Her heart careened at his casual words, because they could hold so much meaning in them.

  “I don’t have any complaints. It’s nice there, and I’ve got friends and a good job. But I’m sure I could be happy anywhere if I had a reason to move.” I’d probably move here in a heartbeat if I could find a job, and you asked me to.

  She didn’t blurt out the words that hovered on her tongue, because they were a little extreme. Was she really thinking about moving to Oregon for a guy she’d known a week?

  A guy she was completely in love with, if she let herself admit it. But admitting it was terrifying. She’d never fallen in love before. Lust? Yeah. Comfortable relationships? Been there, done that too.

  But this was the constant butterflies in the belly, hated being apart from him, and trembled for his touch type of emotion. What else could that be but love? Maybe the early stages of it, but still.

  And tomorrow she was supposed to pack up her stuff, get in her car, and drive away from it all?

  Her heart clenched again.

  Ask me to stay.

  But Ryan didn’t reply, instead seemed focused on someone down the beach. She followed his gaze and frowned. Was that her brother?

  When the man kept striding toward them, amusement on his face, her doubts faded. It was Lance all right.

  Ciara clambered to her feet. “Lance. What a...surprise.” She couldn’t bring herself to say pleasant.

  But her brother ignored her and turned to face Ryan and gave a derisive laugh. “Hey there. It’s Ryan Wyatt, right?”

  “Wait. You two already know each other?” She’d been ready to introduce them, albeit reluctantly.

  They both ignored her.

  Lance folded his arms across his chest. “Now this can’t be a coincidence. Come on, tell me you didn’t know Ciara was related to me.”

  “Get the hell out of here, Daschmoore,” Ryan ground out. “This doesn’t concern you.”

  “Uh, guys, what’s—”

  “Wait, wait. Let me guess.” Lance’s grin widened. “Is this some wacked out attempt at getting back at me? A sister for a sister? Because that would just be too classic.”

  A sister for a sister? What the hell was Lance talking about? Ciara shot Ryan a glance, certain she’d find him equally confused. But instead she found a barely banked rage that sent a shiver down her spine.

  Lance glanced over at her. “I’ve gotta say, if that was your intent you wasted your time. I have a feeling she’s probably just one of several kids my dad fathered over the years—the guy couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

  Oh shit, Ryan did not look pleased. The way his hands were curling into fists. Obviously these two had a history. But what?

  “Well I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree then, does it, Daschmoore?”

  Unease raced through Ciara’s blood at that last statement. “Okay, somebody better fill me in here and stat.”

  Lance shook his head. “You want to know the truth, Ciara? Ask your golden Wyatt boy here why he’s sleeping with you.”

  Ryan’s voice dropped an octave. “Shut the fuck up, Daschmoore.”

  “If you’re just tapping Ciara to get back at me, then have at it. Because she means about as much to me as your sister did.” Lance lifted his hands and laughed. “Which is absolutely nothing.”

  “You son of a bitch.” Ryan drove his fist into Lance’s face.

  Ciara gurgled in shock as Lance toppled backward. Her mouth flapped, but she couldn’t find words, because the only thing resounding in her head was what her brother had just said.

  Fucking Ciara to get back at me.

  “Your kid wasn’t in the window this time, Daschmoore.” Ryan grabbed her hand and tugged her away.

  Chapter Nine

  “Ryan, what the hell just happened?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “You just knocked my brother flat not long after he made some sister for a sister comment. Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter, damn it.” She stopped in the middle of the path that led back to the road. “Who’s your sister and how is she connected to Lance?”

&n
bsp; Ryan dragged a hand through his hair and she could see the indecision on his face.

  “Ciara, let’s go back to your place and talk. I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

  “I don’t want to wait to talk back at my place, Ryan. That might give you too much time to come up with a convenient answer.”

  Ryan blinked. She saw the dismay in his eyes, but there was something else. Something that increased her suspicions that this wasn’t going to be good.

  “Okay.” He nodded. “You want the truth? Here it is. Lance had an affair with my sister a few years ago. She didn’t know he was married.”

  “Oh...” She shook her head. “That’s terrible, Ryan. Your sister must’ve been heartbroken.”

  “Heartbroken and pregnant.”

  Her throat tightened. “She had his baby?”

  Ryan dipped his head in acknowledgement. “Yes. He wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. He even offered to pay for a an abortion when I confronted him.”

  “My God you must’ve wanted to kill him. Must’ve hated him for what he did to your sister.”

  He didn’t deny it.

  “Did you know Lance was my brother before you slept with me?”

  His shoulders went rigid and he hesitated. “I found out just before we ate dinner.”

  Ciara could feel the color sliding from her face as the pieces began to come together. “That’s what changed that day. You become so quite and withdrawn. I sensed it. Oh my god you must’ve wanted to hate me.”

  “I was conflicted,” he admitted grudgingly.

  She had to know. It might hurt, but damn it she had to know. “Was Lance right? Were you just sleeping with me to get back at him?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. It was never...it’s not about revenge.”

  He’d changed his wording halfway through his answer. Subtle, but she’d caught it. Which meant maybe at the beginning it had been about revenge.

  “Wasn’t it? Then why the three days of complete radio silence after our night together? Was it a coincidence?”

  There it was. The flash of guilt in his eyes before he shook his head.

  “You’re not responsible for what your brother did, Ciara.” He reached out to catch her hand, but she pulled away.

  “I’m sorry, but are you telling yourself that, or me?” She swallowed hard. Oh god, I’m such a naïve fool. “It just seems a little weird that you’d be cool sleeping with the sister of the guy who ruined your sister’s life.”

  “He didn’t ruin her life. Anna’s happily married to another man who adopted my nephew.”

  “My nephew too,” she said quietly.

  He looked almost stunned at that last statement, as if that hadn’t quite occurred to him.

  “Were you ever going to tell me any of this?”

  He didn’t answer, just looked more conflicted.

  It just gets worse and worse.

  Ciara turned and continued on the trail toward the road. “I’m going to head back to the house.”

  “Yeah, I’d rather continue this conversation there.”

  Her heart twisted and she stumbled in her steps. What more was there to say? She needed to get out of here before she made a complete fool of herself and started crying. Already the burn of tears pricked at her eyes.

  She didn’t turn around. “Actually, I’m going back alone.”

  “Ciara—”

  “I need time, Ryan. Give me a few hours and then we’ll talk.”

  He cursed softly. “Okay. I’ll come by tonight with dinner.”

  “All right. That sounds good.” Because I’ll be on my way back to Idaho.

  Ciara strode away with him and didn’t bother to stop the tears that fell.

  “She’s gone. She fucking up and left after telling me we’d have dinner and talk.” Ryan dropped the bag of Chinese food on the table and paced Tyson’s living room.

  Tyson winced and shook his head. “Are you sure she’s gone? Maybe she’s out for a drive?”

  Ellie snorted. Tyson’s six-month pregnant wife sat in a recliner knitting what looked like a baby sweater.

  “Come on guys, of course she’s left. A girl doesn’t exactly like hearing she was a revenge fuck.”

  “Ellie.” Tyson shot his wife a raised-brows look. “Let’s not jump to conclusions here.”

  Ryan grunted. “No, no. She’s right. The house was dark, the doors locked. Ciara abandoned ship.”

  Ellie rolled her eyes and set down her knitting needles. “Of course she did. You dropped a massive bomb on your budding relationship. I’m not really sure why you’re surprised here.”

  “Well, maybe she ran to the store and just locked up and turned out the lights,” Tyson persisted. “It doesn’t mean—”

  “Excuse me, cuz,” Ryan patted his cousin on the shoulder before crossing the room to sit down on the couch near Ellie. “I think your wife is going to be better at doling out advice right now.”

  Ellie preened and rubbed a hand over her rounded belly. “Of course I’m the better choice. I’m a chick.”

  Tyson shook his head. “Screw it. I’m grabbing a beer.”

  “Grab me one too,” Ryan hollered and glanced back at Ellie. “How do you know the whole back story on Ciara and I?”

  “Tyson has no secrets from me, and he was less than thrilled to hear you were planning on screwing—quite literally—with Lance’s sister for revenge.”

  “Ah for God’s sake—”

  “And Wyattville is a small town. Word gets around quick in these parts.”

  “Okay. So everybody knows what an asshole I am,” he grumbled. That pang of guilt he kept getting was like a damn ulcer. “What the hell do I do?”

  “Did you apologize?”

  Fuck, had he? Ryan frowned and struggled to remember. This afternoon had been one big fucking confrontation. First with Lance, and then with Ciara.

  “I honestly can’t remember.”

  “If you can’t remember, then you probably didn’t.”

  “Okay. So I’ll apologize. What next?”

  Ellie’s gaze turned considering. “Well, you need to ask yourself that. Ciara does live in Idaho. Even if you make things right you’re looking at a long-distance relationship. Unless you decided to jump on the train to commitmentland.”

  Commitment. It was a word that used to give him hives. But he had to admit it’d been circling around in his head the past few days.

  “So you really need to ask yourself what you want, Ryan,” Ellie continued. “Look, over all you’re a nice guy. Yes, you like your women, but you’re genuinely a nice guy.”

  Ryan grunted. Not exactly sure he liked how he was being broken down.

  “So what are you getting at?”

  “You’re probably feeling a crapload of guilt right now. You need to figure out if this is just a guilt thing over a girl you grew to like and respect, or if you really do care for her. If you want a future with her.”

  Ryan’s heart thumped harder in his chest as Ellie’s words sunk in.

  Tyson came back in the room and handed him a beer. “Ellie’s right. The bottom line is Ciara is gone. Maybe not on the best terms, but if you look at it, it’s a cut and dry end to whatever you guys had this past week. You could just walk away and not look back. Going after her would be the harder choice.”

  Ryan took a swig of beer, noting his hands weren’t quite as steady.

  “I told myself not to drink the water...”

  “Drink the water? What?” Ellie cast Tyson a quizzical look.

  Tyson coughed. “Inside joke.”

  “I’ve only known Ciara for a week.”

  “Ellie and I weren’t together much longer, cuz.” Tyson dropped a kiss on his wife’s forehead.

  “Exactly. Sometimes you just know when it’s right.” Ellie smiled and then lightly punched her husband in the shoulder. “And that’s for drinking a beer in front of me when you know I can’t indulge.”

  Ryan watched the intimate playful moment and
then glanced away. Maybe those two had fallen in love within a short time frame, but was that what he felt for Ciara? And did she love him? Or could she love him after what he’d done to her?

  “Either way, Ryan, it sounds like you’ve got some soul searching to do,” Ellie murmured sympathetically. “But in the mean time, I smell Chow Mein. Do a pregnant woman a favor and dish me up some?”

  Despite the heaviness of his mood, his lips quirked and he moved to obey. Ellie was right, he had a lot to think on.

  There were basically two choices. Go after Ciara. Or walk away and go back to life as usual.

  Chapter Ten

  Ciara finished adding notes to a patient’s chart and then leaned back in the chair. She glanced around the fluorescent lights of the ICU ward and bit back a sigh.

  Almost a week back at work and she was grateful for the diversion it gave her. Less time to think about Ryan.

  He hadn’t called. Hadn’t texted. Once again there’d been complete silence on his end.

  Though maybe part of that was her fault after fleeing town when she’d promised to have dinner with him.

  Or maybe he was relieved that it gave him an easy out.

  Her heart twisted a little and she blinked back the sting of tears. She was so conflicted.

  She stood up and approached the charge nurse on duty.

  “Hey, Carol, I’m going to take my break in a few.”

  The older woman nodded without looking up from the chart she was glancing at. “Okay. Anything I should know about?”

  “My patients are doing well. Everyone is stable.” Ciara’s gaze caught briefly on the man walking down the glass bridge hallway that led to their ward. Did his build look familiar? Or was that wishful thinking?

  “The patient in room seven was just medicated with Reglan and is doing better,” tension coiled through her as the man disappeared out of view for a moment, “but he may need some Zofran if the nausea contin...”

  Ryan stepped around the corner into the ICU and her knees buckled.

  The charge nurse followed her gaze and made a not-so-quiet noise of interest.